So I’m back in York, PA for the holidays.

The bad news is I rarely have internet access, been spending a lot of time sleeping, reading, eating and drinking.

The good news is my mom is an excellent cook.

I’m back in LA on Jan 2nd, so expect the excitement to begin then.

Some other things I have been doing since I’ve been home:

Saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire for the 2nd time with Janeen

Read “Havok and Wolverine: Meltdown” (It’s a comic book)

Read Jeffrey Brown’s “Clumsy”

Read the Vanity Fair article on Damien Hirst that I always told myself to read

Watched episodes 1-3 of the Ali G show, 2nd season.

Watched Batman Begins with Francis

Watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith with my cousins.

Went through all my old photographs. Not very fun, if you ask me.

It’s cold here. I hope you’re all well and enjoying your holiday.

I had a nice weekend. How about yourself?

Saw King Kong on Saturday with Keith and Tony and then went to the Roost. I really liked the film, despite it’s length and corniness in some spots. The T-Rex battle is classic, and I think a lot of people will agree with me on that. On Sunday I ran into Nick Zinner on the street, which was nice as I am a huge YYY’s fan. Then at night I went to Bikram Yoga. Now I’m sore, but hopefully I’ll finish my classes before I leave for the break.

Last night we had our company Holiday party at a bowling alley. I didn’t bowl so well, but it was a nice time nonetheless. Afterwards a group of us went the the Saddle Ranch where they have a mechanical bull. We saw a girl cut her foot open, badly, blood fucking everywhere, but the girls in our group still decided to ride the thing after it was disinfected.

I live a boring life, I know. I think 2006 will be about “amping it up.” Who’s with me? Who’s in my circle? We shall be impenatrable.

BTW, I’m compiling my singles of the year as we speak and will hopefully have it posted soon.

tootles.

Man, so I’ve been real busy rehearsing and practicing my bit for the upcoming show. Should be cool. Don’t bother going, it’s like 30 bucks and all the other acts suck. I’ll probably post my bits and stuff later, though my geisha parody may be worth the price of admission. And if you haven’t heard my “Why do white guys like Asian chicks?” (which debuted a few weeks ago) I guess now would be the time.

Thanks to Keith for the awesome poster design. Keith is THE up and coming graphics designer. He went to RISD and I think it definitely shows with his work here. He’s also in the show, but his only good bits are “Stuck-up indie-rock bitch” and “My Summer Job at Brokeback Mountain” which kinda gets boring after a while.

So . . .today I am officially coining my catchphrase for 2006 -

“Safety’s off”

Works best in a sarcastic-matter-of-fact tone.

runner up:

“Makes me wanna test my invincibility.”

(if you don’t get it, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.)

I just realized that the best break-up song ever is “All I Want Is You” by U2. It must have slipped my mind when I was making the list a few days ago. Remember when the song played in “Reality Bites,” you know the part where Ethan Hawke chases Winona Ryder home. Oh, Winona . . .

Didn’t the video for the song have a circus midget in it?

BTW, the new Beyonce track “Check On It” is excellent. Compiling my tracks of the year will be difficult, but it will be done.

The reason I started this blog was to create a diversion from a break-up that I experienced this summer. It was a three-year relationship and I can only assume that it saddened the both of us.

So today’s list is a baker’s dozen of break-up songs that I listened to a lot this year. Constantly, in most cases. Some even played in my head when there was silence around me.

As you’ll see, Damon Albarn writes some of the best of ‘em. Some of these aren’t break-up songs, per se, but you get the point. The above Subject Line is a lyric from one of the songs below. Let’s not read too much into this.

1. No Distance Left to Run - Blur
2. History - The Verve
3. Dying Isn’t Easy - Damon Albarn
4. Pink Glove - Pulp
5. A Stone - Okkervil River
6. Halah - Mazzy Star
7. All My Little Words - The Magnetic Fields
8. Nothing Gets Crossed Out - Bright Eyes
9. I’ve Been Loving You Too Long (To Stop Now) - Otis Redding
10. The Best Part of Breaking Up (Is When You’re Making Up) - The Ronnettes
11. Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
12. Gone for Good - The Shins
13. Say You Miss Me - Wilco

Honorable Mentions -

Everytime - Britney Spears
I’ll Get By - Eddie Money
Take a Bow- Madonna
No Myth - Michael Penn
God Only Knows - The Beach Boys
Every Breath You Take - The Police
One By One - Billy Bragg and Wilco
You Belong to Me - Patsy Cline
I Know It’s Over - The Smiths
I’m Losing More Than I’ll Ever Have - Primal Scream
Don’t Think Twice - Bob Dylan
One More Try - George Michael
One - U2
Against All Odds - Phil Collins

Didn’t Make the List Due to Verisimilitude -

The Ballad of Carol Lynn - Whiskeytown

Repression is so fucking unhealthy.

So I was listening to a song today and I finally understood it -

When he says “key” he means penis and when he says “ignition” he’s really talking about a vagina.

So I was listening to a song today and I finally understood it -

When he says “key” he means penis and when he says “ignition,” he’s really talking about a vagina.

Next week - I tackle the midget issue.

December has arrived. I will not be buying gifts this year for anyone this year. Expect stale homemade cookies or some free MP3’s to be posted on this site in the coming weeks.

Today’s year-end superlative:

The VKLJ’s favorite Christmas/Holiday Songs.

1. Fairytale of New York - The Pogues ft. Kirsty Maccoll. (Rest in peace Kirsty)
2. Merry X-Mas (War is Over) - John Lennon.
3. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - Darlene Love
4. Donna and Blitzen - Badly Drawn Boy
5. Last Christmas - Wham!
6. Blue Christmas - Bright Eyes
7. Christmas in Hollis - Run DMC
8. Shipbuilding - Elvis Costello

Man, there aren’t that many great Christmas songs, eh? Yeah, I know Christmas is about Jesus and all, but I’m really out of the loop when it comes to pop hits about the big J.C. Hit me up if there are any other good Christmas songs I should check out. Stay away from novelties, please.