My name is Terry and this is my blog. 
11/30/2005: "Winding Down"
music: keep it off the record, off the recordmood: solid
WORK IN PROGRESS - CHECK AGAIN TOMORROW FOR EDITS (Mostly formatting)
So the year is coming to an end and December is upon us, the vulture that it is. The thing I love most about December is the plethora of year-end lists and reviews.
To that end, the VKLJ is no different from any of these other sites and publications. Over the next couple of weeks I will be posting some kind of superlative. Daily. So if you haven't bookmarked this shit by now, now's the time.
Today's superlative is what I will call "The Best Fucking Weekend in San Dieg, CA (2005)"
The story will be presented as an IM conversation between my friend Keith and his friend, who will remain anonymous. I didn't bother to change the names, though I did edit a small part of the story due to some legal issues.
Begin Keith's email to a friend:
man how to sum it up -
I drove down w/ Terry and this guy Mike. We pick up Matt along the way and then head out to the "strip" - the Gaslamp area was pretty much like the Santa Monica promenade or downtown Pasadena; very frat. Andy and his San Diego friend Jared meet up with us, as does one of Matt’s military friends - he was with us that night Matt couldn't get into Beauty Bar 'cause he was wearing shorts. Anyway - we all head to this bar and we can't get in because the Cod is wearing sandals - this is coming from the guy who told us all to dress up for "clubbing"....
at this point I trail off writing a cohesive summary and so here's the transcript of an all-over-the-place IM:
hoj: hey
hoj: how was san diego?
keith: whatsup?
keith: awesome
keith: insane
keith: craziest night I've had in a while
hoj: really?
hoj: what happened?
keith: we all got wasted -
keith: after the bar closed -
keith: we went back to the hotel -
keith: and wandered into this lesbian party
keith: pride week
hoj: what!!!
hoj: holy shit
keith: and just being out of control
keith: got kicked out - but cleared out their minibar
keith: then went down to the hotel bar - which was closed - and tried to get some drinks -
hoj: wait, you guys took stuff from their hotel minibar?
hoj: did they know?
keith: they said "help yourself to a beer"
keith: and so I grabbed 7, one for all of us -
keith: and they said "hey, don't clean us out" -
keith: i didn't realize it was a minibar
hoj: HAHA
keith: then just little shit throughout the night -
keith: breaking glasses at the bar
keith: hitting on girls
keith: knocking over signs
hoj: wait, so did you get drinks at the hotel bar?
keith: totally out of control
keith: just soda
hoj: oh ok
hoj: haha, sounds fun
keith: yeah it was dope
keith: slept the next day until 3pm
hoj: wow, i cant believe you found a lesbian party
keith: yeah it was hilarious
hoj: how the hell did you wander into a party in a hotel room
hoj: how did you even find it
keith: Matt -
keith: and Andy -
keith: they heard noise, so knocked on the door (Terry, Mike and I were just coming in)
keith: they said "You're making a lot of noise, so you could either keep it down or let us in"
keith: most of the girls were pretty hot
hoj: wow, holy crap man
keith: there was one totally butch -
hoj: ive never heard of anyone doing anything like that, except on TV or something
keith: and I, being an idiot, not knowing she was a girl, asked "what's it like being the only guy at a party full of girls" - which is a stupid thing to sat if she was a guy
keith: and then, she answered awkwardly, in a very feminine voice
keith: so stupid
hoj: dude, are you kidding
keith: but she was wearing a har and sunglasses
keith: no
keith: but I quickly changed subject -
hoj: she was so butch that you perceived that she was a man
hoj: jesus christ
keith: yeah
keith: or rather, like a 15 year old boy
keith: anyway, we got kicked out -
keith: cause two girls went off to the bedroom
hoj: so were any of them heterosexual?
hoj: the girls i mean
keith: and Mat and Jared has the bright idea to go into the bedroom to see some lesbo action
hoj: HAHA, ok
hoj: so thats what got you guys kicked out
keith: I was comletely unaware what was going on
keith: yeah, they said "okay, wer'
keith: we're going to bed, party's over."
keith: "...and help yourself to some beer"
keith: all lesbians
keith: and Mike was guzzling their Hypnotiq (the blue liquer)
hoj: wow, what a crazy story....i guess that was the crazy Matt weekend you were expecting though
keith: and when we got back to our room, he spilled it all over himself
hoj: haha, that stuff is gross
keith: and I kept thinking, where did he get Hypnotiq?
hoj: hynotic
keith: couple more:
keith: at the bar - Terry is lamenting that he can't meet girls and that there's no Asian girls there. Within 5 mins, this group of probably the 5 hottest Asian girls come up and sit down right next to Terry. We're nudging him, and then one of the girls begins to talk to Terry - it was hilarious
keith: nothing happened, though
hoj: who is terry
hoj: is he asian?
keith: yeah -
hoj: oh ok
keith: he was at the Millionaires party
keith: also:
keith: the bar was emptying out, and Mike noticed this girl eating a lollipop.
Mike: Whoa, check out that girl with the lollipop.
Me: Watch this. (I walk over to the girl)
Me: So, you're eating a lollipop. How's that working out for you?
(girl walks away).
Me: You guys missed it! I totally hit on the girl with the lollipop!
keith: eh maybe you had to be there. I thought it was the funniest thing.
hoj: haha
hoj: man, that is a pretty crazy story
keith: yeah
hoj: so you went to sleep about the same time the sun came up
keith: well like 5am
keith: Matt got up at 7:30 to go to the job fair
keith: dude is insane.
hoj: jeez
hoj: so thats why he was in SD?
hoj: for a job fair?
keith: Don't even know why he got a room - he lives like an hour away from SD
hoj: haha, yeah, not even, right
keith: We woke up after he came back
hoj: and did he get a job?
keith: interviews the next day (today)
hoj: i see
keith: yeah
And if you still don't believe it, believe it now:
Unfortunately, I do not have a picture of the 5 hot Asian girls that sat next to me at the bar. Have I ever lied to you, my sweet?